Monday, February 1, 2010

Where to begin

My TTC journey started in my head for me September 2006 after Joe and I were married. I had already stopped taking birth control 6 months prior and we both wanted to start on our family right away. In October that was halted due to me being diagnosed with Crohn's. So actually TTC started in June 2008 when I was placed on a new med Humira and was given the ok to start by all my doctors. I got pregnant in Feb 2009 but m/c in March.
Since then it has been very long cycles, a few rounds of Clomid, some breakdowns and a break from TTC.
In January I took Soy and we were back on the TTC road again. A few days ago I got that much desired BFP. Now I just have to stop thinking I am going to lose it again. Everyday in my mind I go through a check list on how my body is doing. Do my breasts hurt? Why is there a dull ache in my abdomen? And the list go on and on. It's this constant voice in the back of my head that I am working on really hard to ignore. Thankfully there is another voice that argues back everything is fine. I'm gonna be a mom in October so enjoy every moment. That once I have this baby I will look back at this time and laugh. I will be able to tell my child someday how much they were loved before they were even created.
So this is my ramblings as I struggle to be hopeful and ignore that pesky voice.

1 comment:

  1. I'm excited that you are a blogger now! Congrats again on that BFP!